Now, What?

It’s official. I’m out of job. It’s the first day I’m unemployed. I’m supposed to be imagining myself relaxing, vacationing myself (lying on the white sands of Boracay) with cute guys on their beach bodies and me... sipping fresh fruit juices. Oddly, I’m not. I felt sad leaving NCO. Suddenly I have qualms about my decision of resigning. It got me wondering “Why quickly doubt something we already planned on deciding?”

Perhaps it’s human nature for us to always second guess our decisions. Especially if it’s life altering. Si nanay nga laging pinapamalit yung nabili niyang damit kahit hindi pa niya sinusuot. Baka daw hindi maganda, hindi kasya sa kanya. What more if it concerns your career or relationship? My friend Luis is a desperate seeker for genuine love. Since true love is difficult to find, he settled for meaningless sex along the way. Now he’s on a relationship and still doubting.

What if Christopher Columbus stopped his quest for new knowledge? Would we still know that the earth is round? Will I still be as happy as now if I didn’t meet my bestfriends? What would happen if my eternal virgin friend Vivas gave “it” up and lost it to someone he doesn’t like? For sure, it’ll be different. I guess that’s the essence of life. We never know what to expect. We question the future. Will I succeed in my new path? Will my idealistic friend Kirk stopped waiting for the perfect Mr. Right and start looking for a slightly flawed, but his own Mr. Fit? And will my carefree-little-friend Bambam trade his nightlife to a virtuous life?

I’ll quote a colleague from work:

“Everything happens for a certain reason. Some you expect, the others a surprise. The key for the things that caught you offguard is acceptance.”

It is a cycle. I met and made friends. I said hello and bid goodbye. I probably just got scared of the unknown. The future maybe vague, it maybe is uncertain. But one thing’s for sure now, I am ready for it.