Jai Ho (The Destiny)

Note: This is NOT based from a true story.

Scene: Jobless Boy celebrates his 1st unemployment monthsary through a job interview. Enters a Crabby Boss.

Jobless Boy: Good morning sir! (Truth: It’s drizzly and gloomy outside).

Crabby Boss: Same to you. How are you doing?

Jobless Boy: I’m doing great sir. Thank you for asking. (Truth: The boy woke up with a migraine, bad stomach and red eye. He just drank meds to cover it all up).

Crabby Boss: That’s good to hear. Let’s start this by telling me something about yourself.

Jobless Boy: I’m a fun-loving person. I love staying out with friends, party all-night. I am very sociable. (Truth: The boy is rigid, a couch potato and a party-pooper).

Crabby Boss: Well that’s nice. We need a sunny personality around here for a change. Do you have any hobbies or past-times you want to share with me?

Jobless Boy: As I’ve mentioned, I love meeting new people. Also, I am extremely perceptive with what’s happening now with society. (Truth: All the boy did was to laze at home watching re-runs of his fave crazed-TV show Gossip Girl and marvel at how evil reincarnated through New York socialites).

Crabby Boss: I like perceptive people. Being observant is one quality everyone should possess. On the other hand, kindly provide me your weaknesses for your better evaluation.

Jobless Boy: I have to admit I don’t have enough working experience related to the job description but I am more than willing to be trained in any professional way possible. (Truth: The boy deems himself as having no weakness at all).

Crabby Boss: I see you have a point. If I may ask, what made you decide to leave your previous job?

Jobless Boy: I’ve been with the company for almost 5 years and I don’t have anything but pleasant words to describe my experience. Working there was such a great pleasure and I truly treasure what the job has taught me. Then I started to realize that this is not something I want to do my entire life. I want to pursue my passion, which has been there since I was a kid. But believe me sir, it was a long thought out process I did before I decided to quit. (Truth: The boy couldn’t stand the shit of this routinary work and can’t wait to jump out of his crappy work station any fucking chance he can get).

Crabby Boss: I see you’ve been very grateful. And what urged you to apply for a position in this company?

Jobless Boy: To simply put it sir, it has been my dream and I’m sensing that the stars will agree that it’s my destiny to be part of this company. (Truth: The boy thinks astrology is just a shitty excuse to terrible and uncontrollable events happening to someone’s life).

Crabby Boss: Whew, I can’t argue with the stars, can I? Now, what do you think you can contribute to the success of this organization?

Jobless Boy: First and foremost, I believe that the company’s success lie on all its subordinates. So I will make sure to promote a harmonious working environment around the office. Second will be my dedication and efficiency to any tasks assigned to me. And of course, I’ll perpetually show my appreciation to the one who hires me. (Truth: The boy desperately needs a full-time paying job for his credit card bills, he is result and not process-oriented and, he couldn’t take anymore the Crabby Boss’ irritatingly bad breath!).

Crabby Boss: I think that wraps it up! Anytime soon, you’ll receive a notice from me should you get the job. Thank you for your time.

Jobless Boy: The pleasure is mine sir. I can’t wait for your call. (Truth: The boy did not lie. He hates waiting).

Note: After 7 business days, while watching a pirated copy of the much hyped Slumdog Millionaire, the Jobless Boy got a call from the Crabby Boss informing him he got the job and can start immediately.

Morale: To fulfill your destiny, it’s better to lie your way through it than stay honest and get stuck broken.