Tagged as the modern superheroes of this new generation, the Gen-F, these creatures walk and talk like humans. They come in all shapes and sizes, figures and flavours, but distinct in personalities- high fashion, funky, edgy, editorial, fly and, couture. With the power vested on me by Tyra, the Goddess of Fierce, I lay down a list of the all-time favourite Bektas (sorted in no particular order, oh yeah!).
Luis aka Agent Carla
From her past-life as a Showbiz Talk Show Reporter (appearing every Sunday), she evolved into this Goddess of Eternal Beauty with no man can ever resist. She died gruesomely because of intoxication of her esophagus due to a hard perennial object throbbing into her mouth back and forth, up and down. She died with pleasure. But since her mission is not over yet, she was resurrected. With deep detestation for the humans who tortured her, she planned her great revenge. But she did it gracefully, like a swan princess. She chooses her prey (taxi drivers, security guards, bellboys, tambays) and magnetizes them with her elf-like skin, waxed legs and bikini body. During the day, she’s a teacher in Mama Ricky’s Isang Gunting Isang Suklay Learning Institute, teaching young bektases how to choose, apply and flaunt the right foundation on your face and tell everybody who notices “Hindi kaya ako naka-makeup!”
Kirk, the Wonder Bek-Bek
As an orphan, little Kirk already knew she had a gift. She was adopted by a wealthy family and was raised in the Upper East Side. She grew up with class and sophistication. Everything in little Kirk’s life seems to go so perfectly until one day, the elite people of Manhattan began to notice that little Kirk stopped growing up, literally remained 4’9”. Some even called this phenomenon “The Curious Case of Kirk, the Bottom”. Due to the hiatus and public shame, little Kirk’s foster parents have no choice but to threw little Kirk out of their society. Little Kirk cried like a little baby. But she did not give up. With her strong ideals in life, she moved on with her life determined to find her prince charming. She thought she could be Harry Potter’s Ginny Weasly, Waza Lei’s San Cai and Juan’s Maria. But fate has it, she still hasn’t found the One. Until now, she fervently practices her gift of assuming.
Jigz “Pepperman”
The Bektas world call her as such due to her ability to cause her frenemies to sneeze their noses out whenever she passes by. She started to produce this deathly scent when she was still a high school girl. During that time, her favourite destinations are Fahrenheit and the streets of Nakpil and Orosa where she was a powerful member of a great clandestine- Bacardi. But after discovering that the group is implementing illegal actions e.g. orgies, STD’s, SEB’s, she cut her ties with them. Now she’s on a hideout, afraid to be the next target of this unlawful G4M organization. Since then, she went out of the public sight going on a very secret location that only she knows- Clicks in Cubao.
Benet the Power White Ranger
Skin as white as Jinky Oda after Glutamax, the Rachel Zoe of the Bektas’ world, Benet is the Creative Director of The Bektas School of Arts and Sciences. She is in-charge of the all the learning activities that deal with arts, graphics and fashion. With her wide array of knowledge in the advertising industry, the bektases consult her about the latest trends in movies, music, clothing and events. Her superpowers are as follows: 1.) strength and stamina- to walk non-stop and look for different ukay-ukay’s in the metro; 2.) extraordinary eyesight- in discovering quality M2M’s anywhere in the urban and rural places in the country and; 3.) heart of gold- even after finding out that her longtime partner’s obnoxious ex is also in the same Government birthday party as she is, she remained strong and committed (of course, there were crying moments which were BTW buzz and paparazzi shot-worthy.
Patrick (Invisible Becky)
Now you see her, now you don’t. Her agility to hide herself from the other bektas will make Hollow Man envy her with delight. In addition, she also has a gift of analyzing one’s personality, telling you if you’re schizophrenic or you have paranoia, traits that she, herself has. But all these did not came easy for the Invisible Becky. As a child, she was always being left around with no one sustaining her the necessities of life. Since then, she trained herself to be undetectable, practicing first by not replying to her friends’ SMS. Soon after, all her friends cannot reach her in any way than Friendster or Facebook. She became successful, being the top executive of a multi-national company, earning 60,000Php(?) a month. Despite of all these, PJ learns to be a giver. Being Oprah as her icon, she gives away a Fossil wristwatch and a brand new car to the needy. And not so long ago, she found a special friend who she thinks worth ditching her friends for (cross-fingers!)
Vivas aka Virgin Woman
Virgin Vivas is the eldest out of a dozen siblings. Because of this, she discovered her capability of nurturing toddlers. Like KC Concepcion, she became United Bektas’ Ambassadress of Goodwill providing inspiration to the youth. Unfortunately for Vivas, she won’t be able to bear a child ever since she pledged to withdraw to the Divine (Diva) her blossoming flower, making her an eternal virgin. This vow made Vivas an eligible catch to the male counterpart. But since she is super-choosy, she preferred working with them instead. Employed as full-time construction worker and part-time couture model made our resident virgin super exhausted. And because she’s also gaining a lot of weight now with no man in her life, she decided to leave her earthly body and join Our Lady of Holy Bektas Congregation. Using her mutantly nose, her mission is to punish humans once caught doing unprotective sex.
Dexy, THE Master Bektas
Been there, done that! A one-liner fit for THE Master Becky. Dexy Foxy as friends call her, is like the Dalai Lama and/or Professor X of the Bektas community. She has lived a full life, doing good deeds like healing bone fractures on her MegaClinic with her gifted hands, saving the world by her hypnotic dance moves and, calling out the heavenly angels by belting out Regine Velasquez’s songs over and over again. But unlike what you think, THE Master is not as nice as a sugar-coated candy, performing “illegal” actions in every public place you can imagine (dorm bed, call-center station, etc.) and a friendly night-out turned into a brawl made yours truly so sorry about abandoning her in a Makati-based Becky Bar. Centuries later, Dexy is still “On a Relationship” in Friendster, which makes a common bektas think if she can really be monogamous. After an incredulous life, the real question is, will THE Master settle with the journey or will she try and end up with her Mr. Big?
And the last but definitely not the least
Bambam “Super Suman”
Everyone be prepared on what this tight fitting-body hugging-full figured Bektas can do. She is not a comparison to the Incredible Hulk even though they don’t differ in weight that much. Nor to X-Men’s Jean Grey although they wear the same neon-colored skinny jeans. Like the Charmed sisters, Super Bambam can transport herself from Bed to Galera in just one click on her mole. Unsatisfied, she will go farther up to Subic’s Balloon Festival and down to Palawan’s beaches. Being a chameleon is also one of her powers. She can instantly transformed herself into being a celebrity like Wowie DG, Amy P and Ate Guy. Even the agony of pain won’t stop her. She didn’t even twinge when her boxer shorts had blood stain on it the morning after. What we don’t know is her Maalaala Mo Kaya-ish childhood experience. Something about madilim, tricycle drivers, pilapil. But she claims she has her BFF’s Vit. E, V and J to keep her sane. Until now, she’s still out there and since she, herself doesn’t know how massive her powers can be, all we can do is prepare for the worst.
They live among us. Some chase a spotlight life while others stay as couch-kamote’s. A few like it easy and gentle while many fancy a rough-hot-wild “ride”. Whoever they may be, one thing’s for sure, they all wear F&H.
To all Bektas: Come out come out wherever closet you are...
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