Looking back at the year that was, I’d say there were a few events worth remembering. So before all those TV networks compete for airtime to show their year-ender specials, I already have come up with a list of all the happenings and the non-happenings, the shakers and the breakers and; the life-changing stories of 2011 that somehow, I must admit, in one way or another, touched my heart. And P.S. this is in no order, whatsoever.
I. Angel’s Birth
Nothing can ever compare to the smile of a newly born baby. It’s the only zero percent chemical, non-carbonated, less-fattening, and anti-oxidant stress reliever ever created.My nephew was brought to us in such a perfect timing that everyone in the family are completely prepared and capable to handle such bundle of joy. Loving a baby is unrequited. You just love and you don’t expect anything in return. Which all adult relationships tend to lack in the area.
II. Escape to Puerto
Have you heard a joke but you couldn’t remember because you are just laughing so hard trying to at least recall it? That’s how I can recap this one helluva summer getaway. My friends and I were just like little kids playing in a big bathtub. Everything we do is just for fun. Everywhere we look, we find the funniest pranks. Sure the 3 day-2 night vacation ended, but the bond just got stronger. I may have separation anxiety, but this one is for keeps.
III. 365 days of Timeline
They say people change. Well, those people do not belong in my clique. ‘Cause we stay. No matter how difficult the odds are. This year is not all about me, but also to all those gossip-worthy friends I have. Dex gave an ultimatum to X. When X didn’t follow the rule, Dex put a period on their on-off relationship. Now, he is officially in a his-and-his matchy-matchy spoon and fork-ship. BF stayed in Middle East amidst all the war. Even though Benet got scared, he fought for their long-time commitment. He stayed faithful. And because of that, he now has a BB phone. Kirk finally found his One. But not after a lot of crying games. His hopes didn’t fail him. As for Vivas, he returned to us, location-wise. And oh, before I forget, he got devirginized. Ain’t all that deserve a cheers?!
IV. High-est Party
December has always been special to my heart. With my father working overseas, I always look forward to this month only because it means reunion. That has been my thinking since childhood. My birthday falling on the same season is just an icing on top of the most fabulous cake. There are no mixed reviews. Everyone agrees that this was the party of the year. I was put on the party pedestal. That I definitely set the bar so high in terms of celebrating birthdays. And that for me, is the biggest compliment.
V. Riding in roller-coaster-cars with Boys
The roller coaster of first dates, the time I spent making myself look hot in chatrooms and, the draining process of selections all in the hope that you might find the love of your life. It is tiring, mind you. I tried to go down the road of cliche’ness and flirted, had coffee, saw a movie. Also, I boldly went to the daring and had sex for the sake of sex only. But none of these placed me to the front row of happily ever after. I was left by the ride, almost have thrown up, but very much alive. Some were born to be a good lover. And a few, myself included, were probably born to be a good other... than a lover.
***
“It was the best of times, it was the worst of times.” Charles Dickens hit it right in every aspect of the word. The year’s events will surely be remembered, but not the heaven that it brought to me. Heaven is being with family and friends who act like family. I may not be riding in a loveboat anytime soon, I’m sure I’ll be fine. I’m in a relationship with myself for 28 years, for Christ’s sake! And I will not dare cheat on it for anything.
“If u wanna be part of this world, people will talk. You need to decide if all these... worth it” – B.W.
Mid-year hiatus is done but the drama isn’t. Forget about this year’s disasters ‘cause something’s telling me nothing can ever topple the Coyote’s latest scandals. It’s the season of giving so I’m feeling it would be just to make it as this version’s unifying theme. But knowing the Royalty by heart, you must be careful what to wish, as you can never expect the return.
Let me start with the no-showers to this year’s biggest event- yet. The hostess threw a birthday bash like no other but it seems some Coyotes were goners, well at least two of them. L’s excuse is a visit to a hospital. Awww, sweet L, taking care of a sick friend! A friend in need is a friend indeed. But what if this so-called friend is still the Married Man from the South? And this so-called hospital is let’s say, a motel? And I don’t wanna delve into the “visit” part anymore. Really, L, is this excuse the best you can think of?
B, goner number two. No text means no show can be her motto but why is it everytime A is in, she’s out? Sources say this has something to do with a non-happening that Mall Guy (aka her boyfriend) is reporting her. And since its Christmas, let me tell you about two facts of decency, B: One, everybody lies and so did your boyfriend. Two, dissing your long-time BFF’s over a crazy-liar-not even close to perfection-boyfriend is a big N-O!
Speaking of crazy, D’s X makes the top of my list. We get it, he’s a psycho major, but does he need to make D his ultimate specimen? D can be as hardcore as her outer shell but when it comes to life-threatening situations, D is just a traumatized victim as everybody else. You don’t have to kill someone to prove you’re crazy, X! Do I hear asylum guards coming over?
P, spotted and poof! Disappeared. Oh why am I not surprised, she’s still with the Chinese Twink. Love may be all around her but money, not be found. Especially if he sees her as a one-way ATM who he can always dispense cash from. If you don’t believe me, P, I dare you to take a little experiment. Try not splash him with all his goodies for seven days and observe if Twink doesn’t look for a more giving cougar. And oh, don’t forget to write down your conclusion.
And the ultimate scandal of ‘em all is V- finding a date of her own! But before anyone offers their congratulations to V for getting out of her shell and dumping the I-don’t-need-a-boy-attitude, listen to this first: It’s the High Schools’s biggest nerd. Poor V, scoring a loser doesn’t make you a winner. Just when you think you have it in the bag, it always slides down the gutter.
When somebody hands you over a secret, it all depends on you now. It’s a basic kindergarten question: Do you take it all in or let somebody spill it again? I’m always watching, XOXO.
A story that can be exaggeratingly false but in conclusion is irritatingly and uncomprehendingly true.
Once there was a crazy bitch named Patty Deocamppy who got bored waiting for True Love. She thought and decided of finding it herself. So she then ventured into a quest and desperately searched for True Love.
She went first to the woods where she found an immaculate school for boys. There she met a student named Lan-A and they clicked instantly. They were seatmates and always seen together. They shared childhood stories, homeworks and, eventually a kiss- a stolen one. Patty always dreamed of riding at the back of Lan-A’s white horse (aka motorbike) taking her somewhere they can live forever.
Until one day, Patty realized Lan-A might be the True Love she’s been searching for and then she cried “Love! Love! Love!” All of a sudden the village people come running to where Patty is only to find out it was not True Love. It was just a shallow puppy love. Patty, frustrated but still hopeful, can’t do anything but leave and continue to find for True Love.
After that incident, Patty has grown more desperate than ever. She searched through the countryside, the rivers, the mountains. And all the men she met, get intimate with and, shared some x-rated moments with, she thought it was True Love. She even extend to the point of using bribery to test the situations. She did this by giving away freebies (e.g. wristwatch, perfume, cash, car) to all these men.
But every time she cried “Love! Love! Love!”, the village people come running at her only to find out it was fake, bogus or made up. It was not True Love. All the time.
And then Patty decided to go to the city. There she met a lot of prospects but only one captured her attention- a Chinese boy. Mr. Chinese seemed to be the perfect match for Patty but because of her excruciating past, she decided to hide him from the village people. Patty spoiled Mr. Chinese with luxury and they shared a lot of sweet moments.
Until one day, Patty realized she’s getting old. She then thought Mr. Chinese might be the True Love she’s been searching for. So she decided to cry “Love! Love! Love!” And minutes after, the village people came running at her. And as usual, it was not True Love. It was just a make-believe dream.
The village people grew tired and mad of Patty’s behaviour and told her “The next time you cried Love, we would not believe you anymore!” And Patty left the city.
Until now, Patty still searches for True Love. She may or may not find it. But one thing’s for sure, the next time she cried Love, the village people will no longer believe her.
“If you reveal your secrets to the wind, you should not blame the wind for revealing them to the trees.” – Alice Duer Miller
This just in.
If GG’s S and B have their own tittle-tattle, who says we can’t have just the same scandal brewing in our circle?
Summer’s almost over but it seems Coyote Royalty can’t get enough of a scorching 40-degree rumor explosion. Uh-oh, I’m feeling this one’s gonna give me hot flashes.
Spotted: V finally ditches her sacred ways and agrees for a wholesome dinner date with Common Friend. But will it still be a date if there’s only one showing up when the reservation is for two? Too bad V is fully prepped for the night of her life. I can’t wait to say “Poor V” but on one hand, at least you get to take-out the dessert and go home early!
L still happily together with Married Man? L spotted, with her flares and flip-flops, taking the Metro Rail for their monthsary. But with X-wife and cellphone in the picture, a one-way is always possible. Talk about touring the MRT, L! What is this also I’m hearing Married Man is a fancy-money-needy shark and L is his innocent bait? L declares their L.O.V.E. is for keeps but honesty or no honesty, I’m with you all the way.
Speaking of love, P is talking. Rumor has it she found the One. But like everyone’s favorite fairy tale, our Cinderella shouldn’t be seen with her Prince Charming, at least in public eye. Question is whatever happened to the Hand-Healer? If memory serves me right, P and Hand Healer shared some X-rated moments in secrecy. Kudos on choosing to take the higher road, P! I just wonder if Prince Charming is a fan of porn.
B turned one year older. But is he necessarily one year wiser? People say the best gift one can receive is love and attention but if both fail, consider cosmetic surgery. What else can I say, B believes a nose job and botox are the answers to her age-old question- “pangit ba ‘ko?” Just a friendly reminder B, everyone goes to heaven untouched.
K, spotted, frequenting Sbux with a coffee on his left hand, and Boytoy on his right. Sources suggest there’s something brewing between the two. Whew, caffeine combined with love and you’ll get Lavochinno! Seems like K’s not following her doctor’s prescription, huh. And if Boytoy got his way to K’s high standards, I just wish anxiety didn’t. Be careful K, you don’t wanna be left out with a heartburn.
And who could ever forget D and her rollercoaster lovelife? Her next stop: Twinky Express. D spotted canoodling in the wee hours of the morning. Well well well, what can I say, it’s better to be cougar than frugal. But of course D, I’m with you wherever you’re happy but when Twinky starts asking for milk, I’d say dump the garbage and leave the baby to the orphanage.
Weather’s changing and rain’s falling. So put out those fancy umbrellas and gear in your rubber boots ‘coz I heard this one’s a surger. Waiting for a heavy downpour, XOXO.
Tagged as the modern superheroes of this new generation, the Gen-F, these creatures walk and talk like humans. They come in all shapes and sizes, figures and flavours, but distinct in personalities- high fashion, funky, edgy, editorial, fly and, couture. With the power vested on me by Tyra, the Goddess of Fierce, I lay down a list of the all-time favourite Bektas (sorted in no particular order, oh yeah!).
Luis aka Agent Carla
From her past-life as a Showbiz Talk Show Reporter (appearing every Sunday), she evolved into this Goddess of Eternal Beauty with no man can ever resist. She died gruesomely because of intoxication of her esophagus due to a hard perennial object throbbing into her mouth back and forth, up and down. She died with pleasure. But since her mission is not over yet, she was resurrected. With deep detestation for the humans who tortured her, she planned her great revenge. But she did it gracefully, like a swan princess. She chooses her prey (taxi drivers, security guards, bellboys, tambays) and magnetizes them with her elf-like skin, waxed legs and bikini body. During the day, she’s a teacher in Mama Ricky’s Isang Gunting Isang Suklay Learning Institute, teaching young bektases how to choose, apply and flaunt the right foundation on your face and tell everybody who notices “Hindi kaya ako naka-makeup!”
Kirk, the Wonder Bek-Bek
As an orphan, little Kirk already knew she had a gift. She was adopted by a wealthy family and was raised in the Upper East Side. She grew up with class and sophistication. Everything in little Kirk’s life seems to go so perfectly until one day, the elite people of Manhattan began to notice that little Kirk stopped growing up, literally remained 4’9”. Some even called this phenomenon “The Curious Case of Kirk, the Bottom”. Due to the hiatus and public shame, little Kirk’s foster parents have no choice but to threw little Kirk out of their society. Little Kirk cried like a little baby. But she did not give up. With her strong ideals in life, she moved on with her life determined to find her prince charming. She thought she could be Harry Potter’s Ginny Weasly, Waza Lei’s San Cai and Juan’s Maria. But fate has it, she still hasn’t found the One. Until now, she fervently practices her gift of assuming.
Jigz “Pepperman”
The Bektas world call her as such due to her ability to cause her frenemies to sneeze their noses out whenever she passes by. She started to produce this deathly scent when she was still a high school girl. During that time, her favourite destinations are Fahrenheit and the streets of Nakpil and Orosa where she was a powerful member of a great clandestine- Bacardi. But after discovering that the group is implementing illegal actions e.g. orgies, STD’s, SEB’s, she cut her ties with them. Now she’s on a hideout, afraid to be the next target of this unlawful G4M organization. Since then, she went out of the public sight going on a very secret location that only she knows- Clicks in Cubao.
Benet the Power White Ranger
Skin as white as Jinky Oda after Glutamax, the Rachel Zoe of the Bektas’ world, Benet is the Creative Director of The Bektas School of Arts and Sciences. She is in-charge of the all the learning activities that deal with arts, graphics and fashion. With her wide array of knowledge in the advertising industry, the bektases consult her about the latest trends in movies, music, clothing and events. Her superpowers are as follows: 1.) strength and stamina- to walk non-stop and look for different ukay-ukay’s in the metro; 2.) extraordinary eyesight- in discovering quality M2M’s anywhere in the urban and rural places in the country and; 3.) heart of gold- even after finding out that her longtime partner’s obnoxious ex is also in the same Government birthday party as she is, she remained strong and committed (of course, there were crying moments which were BTW buzz and paparazzi shot-worthy.
Patrick (Invisible Becky)
Now you see her, now you don’t. Her agility to hide herself from the other bektas will make Hollow Man envy her with delight. In addition, she also has a gift of analyzing one’s personality, telling you if you’re schizophrenic or you have paranoia, traits that she, herself has. But all these did not came easy for the Invisible Becky. As a child, she was always being left around with no one sustaining her the necessities of life. Since then, she trained herself to be undetectable, practicing first by not replying to her friends’ SMS. Soon after, all her friends cannot reach her in any way than Friendster or Facebook. She became successful, being the top executive of a multi-national company, earning 60,000Php(?) a month. Despite of all these, PJ learns to be a giver. Being Oprah as her icon, she gives away a Fossil wristwatch and a brand new car to the needy. And not so long ago, she found a special friend who she thinks worth ditching her friends for (cross-fingers!)
Vivas aka Virgin Woman
Virgin Vivas is the eldest out of a dozen siblings. Because of this, she discovered her capability of nurturing toddlers. Like KC Concepcion, she became United Bektas’ Ambassadress of Goodwill providing inspiration to the youth. Unfortunately for Vivas, she won’t be able to bear a child ever since she pledged to withdraw to the Divine (Diva) her blossoming flower, making her an eternal virgin. This vow made Vivas an eligible catch to the male counterpart. But since she is super-choosy, she preferred working with them instead. Employed as full-time construction worker and part-time couture model made our resident virgin super exhausted. And because she’s also gaining a lot of weight now with no man in her life, she decided to leave her earthly body and join Our Lady of Holy Bektas Congregation. Using her mutantly nose, her mission is to punish humans once caught doing unprotective sex.
Dexy, THE Master Bektas
Been there, done that! A one-liner fit for THE Master Becky. Dexy Foxy as friends call her, is like the Dalai Lama and/or Professor X of the Bektas community. She has lived a full life, doing good deeds like healing bone fractures on her MegaClinic with her gifted hands, saving the world by her hypnotic dance moves and, calling out the heavenly angels by belting out Regine Velasquez’s songs over and over again. But unlike what you think, THE Master is not as nice as a sugar-coated candy, performing “illegal” actions in every public place you can imagine (dorm bed, call-center station, etc.) and a friendly night-out turned into a brawl made yours truly so sorry about abandoning her in a Makati-based Becky Bar. Centuries later, Dexy is still “On a Relationship” in Friendster, which makes a common bektas think if she can really be monogamous. After an incredulous life, the real question is, will THE Master settle with the journey or will she try and end up with her Mr. Big?
And the last but definitely not the least
Bambam “Super Suman”
Everyone be prepared on what this tight fitting-body hugging-full figured Bektas can do. She is not a comparison to the Incredible Hulk even though they don’t differ in weight that much. Nor to X-Men’s Jean Grey although they wear the same neon-colored skinny jeans. Like the Charmed sisters, Super Bambam can transport herself from Bed to Galera in just one click on her mole. Unsatisfied, she will go farther up to Subic’s Balloon Festival and down to Palawan’s beaches. Being a chameleon is also one of her powers. She can instantly transformed herself into being a celebrity like Wowie DG, Amy P and Ate Guy. Even the agony of pain won’t stop her. She didn’t even twinge when her boxer shorts had blood stain on it the morning after. What we don’t know is her Maalaala Mo Kaya-ish childhood experience. Something about madilim, tricycle drivers, pilapil. But she claims she has her BFF’s Vit. E, V and J to keep her sane. Until now, she’s still out there and since she, herself doesn’t know how massive her powers can be, all we can do is prepare for the worst.
They live among us. Some chase a spotlight life while others stay as couch-kamote’s. A few like it easy and gentle while many fancy a rough-hot-wild “ride”. Whoever they may be, one thing’s for sure, they all wear F&H.
To all Bektas: Come out come out wherever closet you are...
goes by the phrase: perception of the desolate; part-time blogger full-time lover; undeterminable quarter-aged ego still in search of it's own individuality.
feel free to comment. for sometimes, human beings are in dire need of exalted appreciation.
