O.M.effing.G! vol2.09

“If u wanna be part of this world, people will talk. You need to decide if all these... worth it” – B.W.

Mid-year hiatus is done but the drama isn’t. Forget about this year’s disasters ‘cause something’s telling me nothing can ever topple the Coyote’s latest scandals. It’s the season of giving so I’m feeling it would be just to make it as this version’s unifying theme. But knowing the Royalty by heart, you must be careful what to wish, as you can never expect the return.

Let me start with the no-showers to this year’s biggest event- yet. The hostess threw a birthday bash like no other but it seems some Coyotes were goners, well at least two of them. L’s excuse is a visit to a hospital. Awww, sweet L, taking care of a sick friend! A friend in need is a friend indeed. But what if this so-called friend is still the Married Man from the South? And this so-called hospital is let’s say, a motel? And I don’t wanna delve into the “visit” part anymore. Really, L, is this excuse the best you can think of?

B, goner number two. No text means no show can be her motto but why is it everytime A is in, she’s out? Sources say this has something to do with a non-happening that Mall Guy (aka her boyfriend) is reporting her. And since its Christmas, let me tell you about two facts of decency, B: One, everybody lies and so did your boyfriend. Two, dissing your long-time BFF’s over a crazy-liar-not even close to perfection-boyfriend is a big N-O!

Speaking of crazy, D’s X makes the top of my list. We get it, he’s a psycho major, but does he need to make D his ultimate specimen? D can be as hardcore as her outer shell but when it comes to life-threatening situations, D is just a traumatized victim as everybody else. You don’t have to kill someone to prove you’re crazy, X! Do I hear asylum guards coming over?

P, spotted and poof! Disappeared. Oh why am I not surprised, she’s still with the Chinese Twink. Love may be all around her but money, not be found. Especially if he sees her as a one-way ATM who he can always dispense cash from. If you don’t believe me, P, I dare you to take a little experiment. Try not splash him with all his goodies for seven days and observe if Twink doesn’t look for a more giving cougar. And oh, don’t forget to write down your conclusion.

And the ultimate scandal of ‘em all is V- finding a date of her own! But before anyone offers their congratulations to V for getting out of her shell and dumping the I-don’t-need-a-boy-attitude, listen to this first: It’s the High Schools’s biggest nerd. Poor V, scoring a loser doesn’t make you a winner. Just when you think you have it in the bag, it always slides down the gutter.

When somebody hands you over a secret, it all depends on you now. It’s a basic kindergarten question: Do you take it all in or let somebody spill it again? I’m always watching, XOXO.

Ga-Ga Over Guys

“When we label guys – single, single-looking, attached, complicated – we forget to look past the label and just see what’s on the outside. So sometimes, some labels are best left in the closet.”

All guys laugh when feeling jovial, frown first before crying and grab a bite when tummy calls. They basically do everything a normal human does. But why is it that everytime they smile gently with their subtle dimples or haughtily bare their just-got-out-of-the-gym bodies or show their gentlemanly ways, we seem to surrender all our white flags. I couldn’t help but wonder “What is it with guys we’re getting ga-ga over with?”

Let’s admit it. Society classify men as to what car model he drives, cellphone unit he holds and the kind of books he reads (if he even reads!). They’re even labelled as to the clique they hang out with. True. Because friends share the same hobbies. Some dance, others solve math problems. But as for us, we judge. And we judge big time.

Enter Exhibit A.

The Good Kind

Imagine you are in a very long line of your favourite fast food chain waiting for your order to be taken. Then unexpectedly a guy in front of you offers to get your order instead so he can combine it with his. You suddenly wanted to scream “How sweet!” Why? Because even if it’s just a one order away, yet still, there’s the act of kindness amounting to sweetness that we feel oh-so-girly about ourselves. We feel important because we don’t get to experience this kind of treatment very often, at least not in our everyday fastfood-line lives.

I call these guys the “Good Kind”. They are those who offer their seats in the MRT, open and close their car doors for us and, take care of us when we’re sick. Everything they do is for our own benefit. Your activities together include going to church every Sundays, shopping gifts for your nieces and attending your barkada’s birthday parties. Everything’s going so smoothly. You compare your relationship to a plain grass field of a feel-good musical.

Warning!

A calm water runs deep or the other way around. The first 5 months into the relationship may be heaven but after a long time of your boy’s kindness to strangers, you feel like throwing up already. Everything may be running straight according to plan but once you passed by a rough road and slipped through a slope, you may never be able to continue the journey. Besides a girl needs to have a little bit of adventure, right?!

Exhibit B - D’ Intimidator.

It’s the first day of your new job and you’re getting ready for a mancom meeting. It was getting a bit boring when suddenly the company’s VP for Operations spoke to the front and discussed your monthly’s data revenue. He’s everything you look up to. He’s got the money (or the car!), the brains (speaks at least 3 languages, 1 of them you can’t understand) and the physique (from an exclusive gym membership) that’s exactly from your dreams (wet or not).

D’ Intimidators can be defined directly from its context. They intimidate the hell out of you, in a good way though. He can be your authoritative boss at work or your well-respected college professor. You feel like you just won a beauty pageant wearing a tiara and carrying a hot trophy whenever you’re with your boy. Your girl (and gay) friends are greening with envy since you just scored dating the hunky varsity player of your school or the charming endorser of the latest toothpaste commercial.

Warning!

You may be on cloud nine being an instant celebrity grabbing the perfect catch. However there’s a fine line between getting intimidated and feeling insecure, especially if both these feelings are brought by your man. Jealous girls (and girls at heart!) gaze at your boy with lustful eyes while they stare at you with question mark on their faces everytime you’re together. You’re hearing whispers and you become delusional. I’m hearing “Why care?” but let’s be realistic, it’s hard not to. Question is - can you handle it forever?

Exhibit C.

Geek God

You and your girlfriends planned on watching the latest horror movie one uneventful weeknight. And as predicted, they all cancelled saying all the lame excuses. As much as you like, you rather not watch it alone since you know you’re a scaredy-cat. You’re starting to lose hope when all of a sudden you heard a knock on your door. It’s your guy-friend-cute-next-door-neighbor asking if he can chill out. A light bulb came across your face and you smiled and Voila! problem solved.

You don’t get to think of him a lot. He’s never included on your list of “5 guys I want to be trapped with in an elevator”. He’s comfortable, harmless and always unexpectedly there. He helps you with your book report, fixes your laptop, advises you the latest in music, etc. They’re called the “Geek God” though not all of them are nerds. You call him ‘tol (dude, bro’, ‘pre) and enjoy each other’s company. You can be in your maximum self when you’re with him. And so is he. You can fart, show your talent and laugh your heart out.

Warning!

Before you call “Love” for your childhood best friend aka Geek God, you have to show him first that your feelings are real and he’s not just a throw-back for someone else. You say this might be destiny since let’s admit it, you know him for a very long time. However, some girls (and I have to reiterate – girls alike!) crave for a little mystery with their man. You need to carefully decide if you’re willing to sacrifice friendship for relationship or the other way around before plunging into the relationship. You find him cute and it might be better if it stays that way.

Last Exhibit.

Man in the Iron Mask (MIM).

TGISN (Thank God It’s Saturday Night) and every one of your friends are going out – on a date. Of course, you don’t want to be left out a loser. But first, you have to make proper preparations. So before you take a shower or even pick your fabulous getup for the night, you went online first. Cross-fingers and high hopes, you started chatting with the hottest on-looker on the netroom. After about 15 minutes of getting to know each other’s basic info (aka ASL, STATS, PREF), you both agreed to meet up (aka EB). And on your way to the meeting place, a smile is developing on your face thinking you might’ve gotten the perfect catch for the night.

If guys have fantasies, so have we. MIM’s can be those in (tight) uniforms saving us from our damsel in distress’ situations (enter Superman!). Or that rock band vocalist asking you over a crowd full of screaming girls to go up the stage and jam with him. Whatever it is that you fantasize about, one thing’s for sure, us girls (again, girls-alike!) fancy the feeling of mystery. Why do you think girls love to go to bars even if they don’t drink? So an MIM (stranger) can unlimitlessly flirt with her (and she to him). And even for that brief moment, we feel utterly and excitingly desirable. Pathetic but true.

Warning!

Let’s be honest. Out of 10 MIM’s hook-ups, only 3 become successful relationships. Meaning, there is hope. But never dare make false expectations. I have a friend who’s hobby is to date MIM’s and feels he found the One, everytime! Until, his One turned out to be a Crazy One. He went on and on looking for his next MIM who turned out to be crazier than the previous. What I mean is, an MIM can only be probably as good as it’s mask. There’s a lot of kind strangers out there. Same with the not-so. Be careful not to turn your EB’s and ASL’s into RIP. Just a friendly reminder.

I, therefore, conclude that,

Labelling guys differ, from one girl (or gay) to another. It doesn’t matter what we look for or how we see them through. Some desperately search for physicality, others want emotion-understanding ek-ek. A few stick to one label while most hop from one to another. Again it doesn’t matter. It’s your own choice anyway.

But we have to remember one thing - it's not inportant getting ga-ga (committing with or with no-sex) to a guy because of its label. For what its worth, it's falling for him even passed through the label.

The Bitch Who Cried Love

An adaptation

A story that can be exaggeratingly false but in conclusion is irritatingly and uncomprehendingly true.

Once there was a crazy bitch named Patty Deocamppy who got bored waiting for True Love. She thought and decided of finding it herself. So she then ventured into a quest and desperately searched for True Love.

She went first to the woods where she found an immaculate school for boys. There she met a student named Lan-A and they clicked instantly. They were seatmates and always seen together. They shared childhood stories, homeworks and, eventually a kiss- a stolen one. Patty always dreamed of riding at the back of Lan-A’s white horse (aka motorbike) taking her somewhere they can live forever.

Until one day, Patty realized Lan-A might be the True Love she’s been searching for and then she cried “Love! Love! Love!” All of a sudden the village people come running to where Patty is only to find out it was not True Love. It was just a shallow puppy love. Patty, frustrated but still hopeful, can’t do anything but leave and continue to find for True Love.

After that incident, Patty has grown more desperate than ever. She searched through the countryside, the rivers, the mountains. And all the men she met, get intimate with and, shared some x-rated moments with, she thought it was True Love. She even extend to the point of using bribery to test the situations. She did this by giving away freebies (e.g. wristwatch, perfume, cash, car) to all these men.

But every time she cried “Love! Love! Love!”, the village people come running at her only to find out it was fake, bogus or made up. It was not True Love. All the time.

And then Patty decided to go to the city. There she met a lot of prospects but only one captured her attention- a Chinese boy. Mr. Chinese seemed to be the perfect match for Patty but because of her excruciating past, she decided to hide him from the village people. Patty spoiled Mr. Chinese with luxury and they shared a lot of sweet moments.

Until one day, Patty realized she’s getting old. She then thought Mr. Chinese might be the True Love she’s been searching for. So she decided to cry “Love! Love! Love!” And minutes after, the village people came running at her. And as usual, it was not True Love. It was just a make-believe dream.

The village people grew tired and mad of Patty’s behaviour and told her “The next time you cried Love, we would not believe you anymore!” And Patty left the city.

Until now, Patty still searches for True Love. She may or may not find it. But one thing’s for sure, the next time she cried Love, the village people will no longer believe her.

Brighter than Sunshine

IV

“Everyone’s a dreamer running away high but in the end of it all is a sacred dwelling place.”

The stillness of Baguio’s backdrop seems not enough to calm Alex. The crisp cold air of a February morning contrasts to the emptiness he is feeling. His black coffee and a stranger company are perfect match to a clueless journey he’s undergoing.

“What do you want, Alex?”, asked the stranger.

“I have no clue”, he answered, confused.

“Why are you here, Alex”

“I don’t know”, he replied stuttering.

"Where are you going, Alex?"

“What are you thinking, Alex?”

“Who are you, Alex?”

“Alex..Alex...Alex!”

Kiko woke him up from a dream he himself created. Questions still circling on his head like an enigma stigmatized into his soul. He’s scared not because he’s confused but because he has no answer to any of these questions.

Alex went into hiding exactly 5 months ago now. Kiko has been an activist since he can remember. Alex is full of doubts on what he’s supposed to do while Kiko has a definite plan of action. He conceals while he reveals. Together they help one another on finding the perfect path to their life-long journey.

“Aren’t you tired of fighting for something with no guarantee of it being successful?”, Alex asked Kiko while sipping a cup of coffee for breakfast.

“Why would someone be tired of fighting for something he strongly believes in?”, Kiko answered him while looking on a great view of the city’s hilltop.

“And what do you call of someone who just gave up the fight?”, Alex added another question. “Do you call him weak?”

“No. I say he’s just confused.”, Kiko mildly answered but with a definite tone on his voice.

The two met after a month Alex decided to search for the missing piece of his lost soul. The pristine vista of the coldest place in the country seems to be a seamless location for this so-called undefined expedition. Coming from different polar point of views, they tend to magnetize each other’s ideals and contradictions.

“I envy you Kiko. Everytime happiness is within my reach... feels like I can grasp it... always it slips away. And you remain stable and stay with purpose. I think I’m giving up.”, Alex confessed one day.

“One must know happiness is a state of mind. It can never be found. If you over think, over plan, over do it, never will it come right at you. Everyone’s a dreamer but at some point we all need to wake up.”, Kiko explained preachingly.

After a few moments of silence, when all they can hear are birds chirping and pine trees gushing, Alex suddenly whispered:

“I feel so sad. Loneliness envelopes me...”, Alex seems on the verge of breaking down.

“Let me tell you one thing Alex,” Kiko paused, breathed and continued “I may be concise with my plan but I seek the world answers to my unending questions. Unfortunately for me, time can be so indefinite. And you... you seek your heart the answers to the world’s unending question. Luckily, you know what to do.”

V

“Love burns brighter than sunshine”

While walking the street which leads to his apartment, Alex suddenly realized something. He feels like he’s chasing pavements. All his life he’s searching for something missing, something to make his puzzle complete. A dream job, perfect partner, life’s contentment. Every occupation, all the men, each of the instances occurred to him seem worthless. Until now, he’s still unhappy. Until now he gave up dreaming and moved on to focus on reality. Until now.

When he reached the doorsteps on the foot of the building he lives in, Alex was stunned to see a familiar face waiting. His heart begins to beat faster than usual, a feeling of excitement tingles her senses. Happy and perplexed, he just can’t figure out what to expect.

“I heard you were in the city...” is all Alex can think of saying.

The man answered gently, “I left right after Octoberfest ten years ago. My heart broke when I saw you kissing someone after the party. You were just so happy.”

Alex remembered something, a promise he made years ago. The he continued, “And you also used to be out of the country...”

“I watched you so blissfully with my heart melting. You seem to have figured out what to do with your future. You had your perfect man, your dream job, everything according to plan. That was the moment I decided to let you go.”, the man explained, his emotions clearly shown on his face.

Alex is now struggling not to cry. “Why did you go back?”

“I looked after you in Baguio. It pains me finding you so confused and hurt. I wanted to hold you, comfort you, hugged you so tight until you can feel our hearts beat as one. But I know that was not the right time yet. You had to find yourself first.”

And the man continued looking straight into Alex’s eyes, “Everywhere I go, Alex, I caught up with you.”

Alex can’t hold up his tears now. More than ever, he cried happiness. And he spoke:

“You caught me so many times.”

Owen and Alex stared at each other for a very long time. They feel anxious, worried, afraid of what’s in store for them. But the only thing that matters is now. What’s important is not what’s necessary.

And they kissed until they run out of breath.

We never saw it happening, we’d given up and given in. Feels tied up in ancient history, we didn’t believe in destiny. When we look up someone’s standing next to us. Love burns brighter than sunshine.

- End -