Alice: It's the only way to leave. "I
don't love you anymore. Goodbye."
Dan: Supposing you do still love them?
Alice: You don't leave.
Dan: You've never left someone you still
love?
Alice: Nope.
-- Closer
Hi, I’m a quitter. There. I said it, loud and proud. I
still cannot believe this is how my 3-year old job will end. Although I don’t
love it anymore, still, this is not how I planned to leave. Now, I have to
start again. Build everything from scratch. Go through the same rollercoaster
of this so-called cruel career life.
Now I started to doubt myself: Was I wrong that I decided not to continue fighting? Did I do it right
by resigning?
It all started when I got suspended from work. Everybody
knows I was the victim. The case was so shallow everyone knows I can swam my
way up. I was a presumed innocent. Everybody told me to fight. Everyone
supported.
That’s when things started to get messy. The management,
oh-so-mighty, was able to turn everything upside down. I became the convict with
proving evidences. I felt powerless. I was drained, physically and emotionally.
I felt myself changing. I laughed less and I think about
the case all the time. That’s when I reflected if the fight is still worth it.
Considering I won, would that make me happy?
I used to follow my intuition. But with this crisis, I
consulted professional help, in the form of my best friends. We may not agree
on a lot of things, but this scenario proved otherwise. They all told me to
follow my bliss. What would really make me happy. Then it hit me.
You can all call me a coward, a scaredy-cat, a quitter.
Maybe that’s what I am. Some people dance, other people sing, and some others
paint. I quit. Whenever I go to a grocery counter with a long line, I don’t buy
stuffs. When an argument heats up between a friend, I stop the fight. When a
potential love of my life showed coldness, I break up.
Whenever I felt things get so complicated, I quit. And I
never looked back.
It may sound sad, but this is my happiness. I don’t have
to be perfect to be honest. And I certainly don’t have to be perfect to be
happy. Isn’t that what life is all about, anyway? There are things that we
never want to let go, people we don’t want to leave behind. But letting go isn’t
the end of the line. It’s the starting point of something you would wish you
will never leave this time. And with that, you are secretly hoping, that maybe,
you would never have to quit again.
